


This is the Best Day Ever

by Brndn1095



Category: Frank Iero - Fandom, Gerard Way - Fandom, My Chemical Romance, frerard - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Other, trans!frank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:20:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26054107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brndn1095/pseuds/Brndn1095
Summary: Many years ago, Frank and Gerard share a drunken night together. 16 years, a bunch of tattoos, and a couple rehab stints pass before it's discussed again.
Relationships: frerard - Relationship, other - Relationship
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	1. Prologue: 2003

**Author's Note:**

> As per the last story of mine, Frank is transgender. As a trans man I was tired of trans characters only being used for gender swap stories or Mpreg and I felt it was time to normalize trans people in narratives, especially those containing sex, without fetishizing it. 
> 
> As dysphoria comes in all types and ways, I used broad, inclusive language describing sex while hopefully still giving a nice picture for the reader.

Gerard sits unsteadily next to Frank on the side of Frank's bed. Dirty clothes and guitar picks and instrument cables line the floor along with empty beer cans. 

The two of them have been on a bender for days, writing a follow up record they aren't sure they can finish. 

Frank finishes strumming the last few notes of a rough cut they're working on and gets up to place his guitar is it's respective case. It's the one thing he takes care of, Gerard thinks. 

He returns to the bed, falling heavily on it and lays down. Gerard joins him at the top of the bed, their bodies lightly touching. 

Gerard feels drunk and Frank's body feels warm and that makes him feel good. The world spinning, he turns on his side to face Frank. In a move Gerard never would have pulled sober, not that he ever is, he thinks, he touches Frank's face with a clumsy hand. 

Frank leans into Gerard's hand. 

"What are you doing?" Frank slurs. 

"I don't know," Gerard pauses. "Do you think we'll ever finish this record?"

Frank exhales deeply, his eyes unfocused. 

"Fuck if I know, man" 

There's a heavy pause. Gerard's fingers move drunkenly across Frank's face, finding his mouth. 

"You have a nice mouth. Very kissable lips," Gerard says. He can feel Frank smile. 

"That's what all the boys tell me," Frank says, grinning like an idiot. 

"Oh yeah?" Gerard asks, his interest peaked in more ways than one. 

"Mm-hm."

"Prove it," Gerard says. If any part of him were sober that part would have been screaming to stop now. But there isn't so he doesn't. 

Frank rolls over on top of Gerard, surprising him as he thoroughly expected to be rebuked. 

Frank grins. 

"Hey," he says drunkenly. 

"Hey," Gerard replies. 

When Frank leans down to kiss him, it's a more gentle kiss than Gerard was expecting. The words "subtle" and "Frank" were not often used in the same sentence. 

Frank's lips are soft. Gerard wants to stay in this moment forever. Frank deepens the kiss, allowing Gerard's tongue to slip into the his mouth. 

It's when Gerard palms at Frank's crotch that things fall apart. Frank starts abruptly and ends the kiss. 

"What are you doing?" Frank asks, far more surprised than angry. 

Gerard feels like absolute shit. 

"I thought we were heading in that direction," he says. 

Frank sighs, looking sad. 

"Maybe we could be if I had what you wanted," he says, dejectedly. 

In a moment of rare sobriety, Gerard meets Frank's gaze. 

"I want you, Frank" Gerard says sincerely. 

Frank studies him.

"Okay," he answers, after a moment. 

"Just don't break my heart," he adds and leans down to kiss Gerard. 

Frank kisses him like a man dying of thirst drinks from a cold well. After a moment, he pauses. 

"Is this what you want?" Frank says anxiously. 

"Yes," Gerard replies. 

Frank gets up and removes his shirt, adding it to the pile on the floor. Gerard does the same. 

Frank turns around to take off his pants and then faces and equally naked Gerard, his erection prominent. 

Gerard walks towards Frank and caresses his face with his hand. 

"Is this what *you* want?" He asks. 

"Yes," Frank breathes, licking his lips. 

Gerard walks them backwards towards the bed and gently pushes Frank down on the side of the bed. 

"Lay back," he says. 

Frank lays down on the bed, his legs on the floor. 

Gerard positions himself in between Frank's legs. 

Gerard can tell Frank's aroused. In their conversations about Frank being transgender, he'd described the ways his body had changed. 

He licks along the length of Frank's erection, about the size and width of his thumb. Frank moans and plants a hand in Gerard's hair. 

Encouraged, Gerard goes further and begins to suck Frank's dick. 

Frank moans again, tightening his grip on Gerard's hair. 

After a moment, Gerard pauses and glances up. 

"Is this okay?" He says, checking in. 

"Mm, fuck yes. So good. Just...just use your fingers too," he says quickly. 

Gerard knows Frank doesn't want to say what he wants him to do, so he doesn't press the issue. Instead he slides a finger inside Frank, enjoying his gasp of pleasure. 

With the addition of his finger, Gerard resumes sucking Frank's dick. 

"More," Frank pants, trying unsuccessfully in the position he's in to grind down on Gerard's hand. 

Gerard lifts his head and removes his finger, licking it clean. 

"Oh no, honey. This isn't going to go that easy. You have to do something for me."

Frank looks at him, and after a pause:

"Quid pro quo, Dr. Lecter."

The absurdity of the entire situation puts both men into fits of laughter. 

When the laughter subsides, Gerard stands up, trying to catch his breath. 

"But no I'm serious, you should really suck my dick," he says, trying not to laugh while making his request. 

Frank grins. "Maybe I should," he says, getting up from the bed and getting to his knees. 

Frank takes Gerard's erection into his hand. He's big, uncut. 

"If I would have know this is what you were packing, we would have done this during the first record," Frank says devilishly. 

He kisses the head of Gerard's dick before licking the shaft up and down and playing with Gerard's balls. 

Gerard rests a gentle hand on the back of Frank's head. 

"You really know how to make a guy beg don't you?" He asks.

"I've been told, among other things" Frank replies, finally taking Gerard's dick into his mouth and sucking hard and deep. 

It's bliss, but Gerard has other plans for the ending. 

He touches a very attentive Frank's shoulder. 

"Hey, stop. I don't want to come yet," he says, gently pushing Frank away. 

"But are you strong enough to point that high powered perception back at yourself--" Frank starts. 

"Did you...did you watch that movie or something recently or do you just say that to all the people you sleep with?" Gerard says quizzically. 

"Well first," Frank sways on his feet. "It's a fucking fantastic movie and second, only the guys."

Gerard grins and sits down on the bed. 

"Come here," he says. 

Frank joins him. They kiss again, softly, before Gerard pushes Frank down and gets on top of him. 

Frank arches his back and gasps when Gerard enters him. 

"Fuck me hard, okay?" He says urgently. 

"I promise," Gerard says. 

Gerard knows he won't last long in his current condition so he makes good on long, deep strokes. 

Frank is quiet when he comes. Just a small gasp and his insides clenching tightly around Gerard's erection. 

His own climax building now, Gerard buries his face in Frank's neck and comes so hard he almost blacks out. 

After, when the perfunctory post-sex clean up is over, the hum of an air conditioning box in the window is the only sound in the room for awhile. The two men lay tangled together, beginning to sober up in early light of the morning. 

Maybe they sleep. Or maybe time just passes in a vacuum. Gerard isn't sure. When he comes to, midday sunlight hits his face and Frank is gone from the bed. 

It isn't hard to search Frank's tiny apartment and Gerard finds him at card table posing as a kitchen table, a cup of a coffee beside him and a half smoked cigarette in his hand. 

"Coffee," Frank grunts, pointing vaguely towards the counter. 

Gerard finds a clean mug and pours himself coffee. He goes to the table and sits across from Frank. 

"You look like shit," Gerard remarks. 

"And you look like a fuckin' Christmas present," Frank retorts. 

They half smile, half-grimace at each other over the weight of their hang overs. 

"Do you wanna get breakfast?" Frank asks Gerard. 

"Fuck yes," Gerard says draining his coffee and burning his mouth in his zealousness. 

They walk to a diner about a block away and order nearly every breakfast item and more coffee. 

They eat silently. Nothing but the sounds of chewing and cutlery scraping chipped ceramic plates. When they've finished, hangovers mostly absorbed by grease and coffee, the two men split the bill and walk back to Frank's apartment. 

They don't speak until they're inside, standing at the front door where Gerard has paused.

"Should we go over it again?" Frank asks. 

Blurry images of last night appear in Gerard's mind. The kiss, Frank's mouth, being inside him. His body runs through a docket of temperatures very quickly. 

"What?" He asks. 

"The song," Frank says, looking at him with an odd expression. 

"No, no...I should-I should go," Gerard replies, looking down at his feet. 

"You don't have to," Frank says, almost hopefully. 

"No, I should go," He checks his pocket for his keys and leaves, closing the door behind him. 

\---


	2. December 2019

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've watched the Reunion show several times now. Now, I've never seen MCR live but I've watch LOTMS and other live videos countless times. And don't hate me, but I didn't feel that *energy* and maybe it's because 15-16 years have passed, maybe they had some kinks to work out, it was a small stage, etc. And I think this is most notable from Frank. Now, he is tethered to a cable and on a small stage but I wasn't feeling it from him as I normally do. 
> 
> You'll also see I took a few non-canonical turns in the way of relationships. It was necessary evil. 
> 
> And finally, conflict drives plot, remember that. It's not easy being transgender.

2019:

Gerard sleeps fretfully in a cold hotel bed, alone.  
The show is roughly 18 hours and he's been worried about it for weeks. But that's not what weighs heavy in his dreams. 

Images flutter beneath his eye lids just like it was happening now. Frank. It was always Frank. 

Two times through the 12 Steps have taught him to make amends but never for this, not for the way he left it. 

In the dream, Gerard goes back inside to Frank or he never leaves at all. It depends on the night. And god, how he wished it was true. 

\---

A smoke, coffee, shower and shave. Easier achieved and better done at home than a hotel room, but Gerard makes due. Almost. 

The hotel room coffee is shit but he remembers seeing a Starbucks in the lobby. He'll need coffee to get through this day, he's certain. 

Gerard's hotel room is on the third floor so he walks down the hall to the elevator. He gets in and pushes the button for the lobby. 

The elevator starts to go down but stops on 2.   
Gerard desperately hopes he's in a hotel with enough celebrities that no one will care to talk to him. He just wants a goddamn Americano with as much espresso they can fit in a cup. 

The elevator opens but Gerard doesn't look up from his phone. 

"Hey asshole," a man with a soft Jersey accent says. 

Angry now, Gerard looks up from his phone. 

Standing a few inches shorter is a grinning Frank. 

His anger quickly dissipates, followed by happiness, followed by fear. 

Recovering quickly, Gerard grins back. 

"Hey," he says as Frank pulls him in for a quick hug. 

The contact kills him. More images flash through his head. Frank beneath him, Frank on his knees, the diner...leaving. 

The elevator sounds on the lobby floor. 

The two men exit the elevator and stand by a potted plant all hotel's seem to have. 

"Where are you headed?" Gerard asks. 

"I saw a Starbucks somewhere here I thought. I was gonna check it out," Frank answers. 

"Yeah, me too,"

They set off blindly, looking for the Starbucks, figuring it can't be that hard to find a giant green Siren sign. 

It turns out to be hard. After walking to the other end of the lobby and not finding it, Gerard questions if it's even there but Frank sees it on a directory so they keep looking. 

Finally, turning around to where they started, Frank sees the green sign tucked around a corner by the elevators. 

"Fuck me," Frank says. "Finally."

They walk in. 

Gerard orders a black Americano with seven shots. 

Never one to be outdone, Frank orders the same with eight. 

After getting their coffee, they stand awkwardly outside the shop. Frank checks his phone after it buzzes. 

"I just got the schedule," he says, showing Gerard his phone with a picture of their show day itinerary. 

Gerard glances at it. Sound check at 4 and the show at 7, but they'll be expected at the venue closer to 1. It's 10 now. He makes a decision. 

"We have some time to kill if you want to hang," he says, half hoping Frank will say no, the other half hoping he'll say yes. 

"Yeah, I don't have anything going on," Frank agrees. 

Gerard's heart hits his stomach before traveling up to his mouth where he swallows it down. 

They head up to Gerard's room and in the elevator, Gerard thinks about everything that led up to today. They were a band for 13 years and it never mattered, never occurred to him to feel bad. And then, when he saw Frank perform from the crowd rather than stage left, that was when the images flooded his head. The memories of that night. Maybe he'd forgotten. But maybe he'd chosen not to remember. 

Gerard had left Frank's house and drove home and drank for three days. On the fourth day, he met with the band in the studio. He could tell Frank was desperately trying to get him alone to talk, but Gerard ignored it. Always making sure there was another person in the room, usually Mikey who, as his brother, prevented any intimate conversation from happening. Eventually Frank stopped trying. They settled into a version of life where they'd never spent a night together. 

On stage Gerard was reckless and cruel. Kissing Frank dramatically in front of thousand screaming fans was better than any drug he'd tried. And he didn't care how Frank felt. 

After getting sober for the second time for good and sitting in the back of a venue watching his best friend perform where Gerard didn't even want Frank to know he was there, he felt more remorseful than he'd ever had for anything. But he couldn't bring himself to make it right and it killed him. 

The elevator dings on the third floor snapping Gerard out of his memories. 

They walk back to Gerard's room. Inside, they sit at a cheap fake wooden table all hotels seem to have no matter how expensive. 

Frank lights a cigarette. Gerard studies him. The scorpion tattoo is forever on his neck but it's cracked and faded. They've gotten older but sometimes it seems like Frank got that tattoo yesterday. 

Gerard sips his coffee, heart pounding, regretting that he got so much espresso in his drink. 

"Frank?" He asks, trying to keep his voice steady. 

"Yeah?" He says, looking up from his phone. 

Gerard takes a deep breathe and speaks on the exhale. 

"I'm sorry I never apologized for leaving that day. After, you know..." he trails off pathetically. 

Storm clouds pass over Frank's face, he laughs bitterly. 

"Which time?" He spits out the words. 

To say Gerard is shocked is an understatement. 

"What?" He says stupidly. 

"Which. Fucking. Time. Gerard." Frank's beyond angry. 

Frank laughs again, his voice could cut glass. 

"Mm, okay. I see. You quit the drinking, sure. But you could never quite quit the pills. Yeah, you liked those a lot. And I was there for all of it. Underneath you, on my knees, in dirty bathrooms and cheap hotels. After, when you'd come, you'd cry and say you would do better, and the next night you'd do it again." Frank sneers. 

He doesn't remember sleeping with Frank but he does remember the pills. He was sober starting the end of the Projekt Revolution tour until the start of the Danger Days tour when Lyn-Z left him. He'd swore off alcohol but started taking Xanax to sleep, trading one vice for another. 

"And every time you called, I came. Every single time. Even though I knew things wouldn't change. I was scared when the band broke up, but I feel free. I felt alive. For the first time in awhile. And then, like anything, I started to miss it. Even you. Because I'd heard you were sober now. And I thought, okay. I'll try it again. And it's been good. I've been able to move on. But now you had to bring it up. And, and..." 

All of this is said in a rush of anger and years of pent up resentment. Frank pauses, frantically running his hands through his hair, looking distraught. 

"I just-I...FUCK!" He screams before sobbing, looking ever the image of a broken man. 

Gerard sits. Saying nothing. There's nothing he can say. Frank's right. He was terrible to him. And he can't take it back, as much as he wishes he could. 

"Just go," Frank says quietly, tears falling openly.

"What?" Gerard says, confused because this is his room. 

"Go!" Frank yells. 

Not wanting to press the issue even though it feels weird to leave his own hotel room, Gerard quickly gathers his things and walks to the door. 

He looks back at Frank, his head buried in his hands. 

"I can't change it. I wish I could. But I'm sorry."

Frank doesn't look up. 

Gerard leaves, closing the door softly behind him. 

\---


	3. Chapter 3

Gerard rides the elevator aimlessly for several minutes before being struck by an idea. He softly punches the plastic floor 2 button on the elevator wishing he could smash it. Gerard knows he could pay the bill if he trashed this entire elevator, he thinks bitterly.

It takes him awhile to find the door he's looking for. When he does, he's hot and annoyed. Even in the winter, long sleeves in LA are never a good thing. 

Gerard knocks and the door opens. Ray stands in front of him, he holds his phone up. Gerard can't read them but he can guess who they're from. 

Ray looks at him, saying nothing but looking disappointed. 

"Yeah. You fucked up," he says simply, letting Gerard in. 

"How much do you know?" Gerard asks, feeling worse than he ever has. 

"From the last 10 minutes or 15 years?"

Gerard rubs his hands over his face, as though trying to erase this day. 

"Oh god," he groans. "He told you?" 

"Well he had to tell someone and he sure as shit couldn't tell Mikey. And he needed someone to know. He was so broken," Ray answers. 

"Fuck," Gerard whispers. "What do I do?" 

"I don't think this is an over night fix let alone an--" he checks his phone, "--an hour before we need to be at the show, so I'd ask him to do the show and if he never wants to speak to you again then he can do that," Ray says simply. 

"No he can't!" Gerard cries out anxiously. 

"Yes. He can. And you need to respect that and realize how much you hurt him. The ball is not in your court, Gee" Ray says emphatically. 

\--

Ray knocks on Gerard's hotel door, Gerard stands behind him anxious. 

The lock clicks and the door opens. Frank looks disheveled and upset. 

"Can we come in?" Ray asks politely. 

"Yeah," Frank says, his voice flat. 

Ray walks in. Gerard follows, unsure and ashamed. 

Frank sits down hard on the hotel bed. 

Ray and Gerard take seats at the wooden desk where he and Frank sat earlier. Gerard touches his coffee he left behind. It's still warm. 

Frank exhales loudly. Ray studies him. The silence hangs heavy. 

"I'm going to do it, you know." Frank pointedly speaks only to Ray. 

"I'm not going to flake just because some ASSHOLE had to fuck things up...and it wouldn't be the first time," Frank says hotly. 

Their phones buzz in unison but only Ray checks his. Frank is too distracted and Gerard is too scared to breathe, fearing he'll fuck things up. 

"T minus 20. They'll have a van out back on the west side of the building," Ray says,   
looking like he's desperate to leave. 

Frank gets up and Ray follows. For some reason Gerard stands too. He feels stupid. 

Ray walk towards the door. Frank starts to but turns around and heads towards Gerard who braces for a punch. 

Instead Frank grabs him hard by his collar. 

"It's not for you," he says through clenched teeth. "It never was." 

Frank walks away and he and Ray leave, the door closing softly behind him. 

Gerard sits and waits for the van arrival text. He chugs half of his forgotten Americano and tries not to think. 

\---  
At the show, little things about how live shows work come back to him. Sound check, getting mic'd up, standing on the empty stage in anticipation hours before the show. 

Time passes simultaneously slow and fast as Frank does everything in his power to avoid him. 

And finally, the darkness and the roar of screaming fans. A hand lit up by a flash light counts Gerard down. 5, 4, 3, 2....

\---  
They exit stage left as the house lights come up and a flurry of post show activity starts. 

Water. So much water. Gerard chugs nearly an entire bottle while trying to disengage his mic pack. 

Warm, calloused hands help him from behind. 

"Thanks," Gerard says, grinning and turning around. 

Frank throws the pack hard in his chest. 

Gerard's grin fades. 

He tries not to watch Frank take refuge by himself on a couch in the corner of the green room, lighting a cigarette. 

When all necessary tasks are completed and the adrenaline is replaced with exhaustion, they're shuttled back to the hotel in the van.

Gerard wants nothing more than to sleep. 

\---  
It's roughly one in the morning when Gerard opens the door to his hotel room and even later when exits the bathroom after a shower. 

A knock at the door startles him but he ignores it. It grows louder and more persistent. 

Finally he hears: "Open the door fuck face!"

Gerard knows by the voice it's Frank. 

He opens the door and Frank storms in, livid.

"I'm gonna talk and you're gonna fucking listen," he yells. 

Frank takes a breath and opens his mouth but visibly deflates. 

"Why didn't--why couldn't you just--why wasn't I enough?" His voice breaks in his despair and he looks more like 19 year old kid Gerard consoled when his dog died than the 38 year man he is now. 

Frank sits on the bed and sobs openly. 

Gerard's heart is breaking and he makes a decision. He sits down next Frank and encircles his arms around him. 

"I'm sorry," It's all he can say right now. 

Frank sobs harder and leans into Gerard, his tears soaking into the soft cotton of Gerard's worn t-shirt. 

Eventually Frank stops crying. His body is hotter than a furnace and Gerard's arms ache. 

"Frank," Gerard says carefully. "Take your shoes off and lay down. I'm going to get you some water." 

Gerard carefully disengages himself and gets up. He runs into the bathroom to grab his phone and when he steps out Frank has stripped to his underwear. 

Frank rubs his face like he's trying to erase the past 20 minutes. 

"I was just gonna sleep here. I don't want to be alone," he looks like a kicked puppy and Gerard feels terrible. 

Gerard nods. 

"Sure, take the bed. I'll sleep in the chair," he says. 

"No." Frank says firmly. 

"You want the chair?" Gerard asks, not understanding. 

"Stay with me," Frank says, 16 years of emotion weighing in his voice. 

"Okay," Gerard answers, feeling it's the least he can do. 

Frank gets in the bed after pulling the blankets back. He sighs deeply. Gerard knows the feeling. The feeling of finally resting after a show. 

Gerard joins him. He lays awkwardly unsure. There's a silence for a few moments and he thinks Frank may have fallen sleep. He shuts the bedside light off and lays in darkness, trying to process everything and how he needs to still truly accept fault. 

From the darkness, Frank calls softly. 

"Hold me." It's both a question and command. 

Gerard experiences a variety of emotions in a very short time. Memories flood his head but he pushes them down. 

He finds Frank in the dark, his back to him, facing the wall and molds his body to Frank's. 

Gerard buries his face in Frank's neck and inhales deeply, feeling like he's right where he should be. 

Soon, sleep takes him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely happy with the ending which is why there's a gap in the posting. I realized I'd bitten off more than I could chew with writing such an emotional story. The issues I imagined then with grew beyond my own comprehension of how to fix. But if you were here for the smut, there's that too. So maybe it's lacking in nuance, but the sex is good.

Sunlight streams through the thin hotel curtain and wakes Gerard. A sleeping Frank is still pressed against him. 

Frank's backside is flush against his crotch and the friction has given him an erection. Frank stirs, pressing deeper. 

Now he's aroused and trying to not be aroused around a half naked Frank is hard in more ways that one. 

When Frank moves again, Gerard carefully moves away and rolls over on his back. 

"You moved." 

Frank's voice startles him. Gerard thinks quickly. 

"Yeah, sorry. I had a cramp," Gerard lies. 

"That's not all you had," Frank says pointedly, rolling over and taking Gerard's clothed erection in his hand. 

Gerard feels conflicted but Frank speaks before he can say anything. 

"I'm still pissed. I think we have work to do to actually fix things if we want the band and our friendship to work but fuck, this bad idea sounds pretty good."

Having said that Frank makes the decision for him by taking Gerard's pants off and taking his hard dick into his mouth. 

Frank's mouth is intoxicating but he doesn't want to come yet. He pushes Frank back and a memory hits him hard. 

"Wait, wait! Quid pro quo, Dr. Lecter."

Frank comes up to face level and kisses him deeply. 

"You just made me so hard," he grins, quickly shedding his underwear. 

Gerard eagerly sucks Frank's dick before sliding two fingers inside him and working diligently to find his spot. 

Frank comes quickly. A strangled scream rips through his chest and he lays there panting. 

We're not done yet," Gerard says devilishly. 

He repositions himself and enters Frank who shivers in anticipation. 

When Gerard begins to thrust in earnest Frank's nails scratch down his back, breaking skin. Frank uses his legs to pull Gerard closer and deeper. 

It's short work because they're both so excited but they come together like practiced lovers and lay back enchanted with each other. Gerard knows it's the temporary feeling of post sex bliss and he wishes things could stay this way.

Tangled together in silence, Gerard strokes Frank's face. 

"You got old like the rest of us finally," Gerard grins. 

"Maybe they'll stop carding me now," Frank says smiling back. 

"I'm just mad we can't take you to Kids Eat Free anymore," Gerard adds. 

Frank kisses him gently. 

"That was never true," he laughs. 

Gerard watches Frank laugh and realizes two things in quick succession. First that he can't afford to fuck up again and second, that's he madly in love with Frank and maybe he always has been. 

\---

Gerard is surprised when Frank asks to stay with him instead of flying back to New Jersey like he originally planned but he agrees instantly. 

The drive from the hotel to Gerard's house shouldn't take long in theory but LA traffic has other ideas. They raid the hotel lobby for overpriced snacks and coffee and set out. 

When they hit the highway and prepare to sit in traffic for an ungodly amount of time, Gerard turns down the Queen playlist they've been listening to and inhales deeply before turning to look at Frank. 

"I'm sorry I was an asshole for all those years. I'm sorry I was an addict and only cared about getting high. I was selfish and I wanted what I wanted and I'm sorry I took advantage of your kindness and trust. I'm sorry I did it twice. You have every right to be angry and I would understand if you wanted nothing to do with me. I can't change any of it but I can be a better person and I can only hope that you continue to let me in your life," Gerard says all of this in the breath he took and when he's done, he waits. 

Tears fall freely from Frank's eyes and he grabs Gerard's hand and squeezes hard, seemingly trying to compose himself. 

"Thank you," Frank says, his voice tight, his chest spasming as he fights his emotions.

Traffic is at a stand still. Gerard unbuckles his seat belt and turns to press his forehead to Frank's. He wipes away Frank's tears. 

"Frankie," he says, his voice low. 

"It's okay," Gerard adds. 

He kisses the corner of Frank's mouth and watches as 16 years of anger, sadness, hurt flow out out of Frank and holds him. 

\---

Frank is sleeping by the time traffic finally picks up, his face stained with tears. And he sleeps until Gerard wakes him, having arrived at his house. 

He wakes Frank and they gather their stuff. As a curtesy, he has Frank put his bags in the guest room, but he has a feeling Frank won't want to sleep there. Gerard doesn't mind at all. 

Frank wants to smoke so Gerard takes him out back to the deck. 

"It's like a fucking painting out here," Frank remarks on all the greenery. 

"Don't let it fool you. A few more miles into the city and it's no different than Jersey. Just hot dog stands and smog. Of course, they have more vegan options here," Gerard answers. 

Frank snorts derisively and takes a deep drag on his cigarette. 

Gerard watches Frank smoke, watching his lips, his hands. Gerard has always been especially enamored with Frank's hands and what they do with a guitar, among other things. 

Frank snuffs out his cigarette in a nearby ashtray and notices the pool off to the left of the house. He steps off the deck and looks at his reflection in the water. 

"Is this heated?" He asks. 

Gerard thinks nothing of his question. 

"Yes, but--"

He stops abruptly when Frank jumps into the pool. He's shocked for approximately three seconds and then the laughter hits so hard he can't breathe as Frank surfaces, pissed. 

"Fucker! I thought you said it was heated!" He yells, climbing out of the pool awkwardly, weighed down by his clothes. 

Gerard tries to contain his laughter because he knows Frank wants to hit him and he knows Frank can throw a punch, small as he is. 

"It is, but you have to turn it on. I was trying to tell you that and you jumped in. I know it's California but it's only 60 degrees. The water's even colder." 

"Yeah! I fucking know! Are you gonna help me or not?" Frank says hotly, dripping wet on the deck. 

"Okay, yeah." Gerard says thinking quickly about the best way to not have pool water all over his hardwood floors. 

"Take your clothes off," he says simply. 

"What?!" Frank says incredulously. 

"You can leave your underwear on, just do it."

Begrudgingly Frank strips down to his underwear quickly. Gerard tries not to enjoy it as he gathers Frank's wet clothes and leads him inside to the bathroom. 

Gerard turns the shower on and sets the wet clothes down momentarily to go to the closet and get Frank a towel. 

He turns around with the towel to see a very naked Frank, looking entirely nonchalant as he waits for the shower to warm. Gerard stares. 

"Close your mouth, you're not a school boy," Frank says but there's glitter of mischief in his eye as he steps into the shower and lets the water roll over him. 

"I'm gonna throw these in the wash and find you dry clothes," Gerard says quickly, grabbing the wet clothes from the floor. 

Gerard works quickly, throwing the wet clothes in the washer and digging through Frank's bags to find clean clothes. 

When he returns with clothes he's never been more happy to have a clear glass shower. Frank works his fingers inside himself, one leg up on a ledge for leverage. He notices Gerard. 

"The water's fine, come inside. Or something," he winks. 

Gerard undresses quickly, his hard dick bouncing off his stomach as he removes his underwear. He joins Frank who removes his fingers and presents them to Gerard who takes them eagerly into his mouth. 

Frank takes Gerard erection into his hand and strokes it expertly, the callouses on his hand adding a slightly painful but amazing pleasure. 

Still keeping Gerard's dick in hand, Frank turns around and presses the front of his body to the shower wall, bracing himself. 

Understanding his meaning, Gerard presses his dick against Frank's hole, teasing around the entrance. Frank moans and tries to take Gerard inside with his hand. 

Gerard enters him ever so slightly and thrusts slowly. He has Frank shaking now and begging for more. Gerard leans close to Frank's ear. 

"I don't think you want it bad enough," he whispers, sliding out and starting the process over. 

"Please, fuck me. Please," Frank begs, trying to turn around but Gerard holds him in place. 

Gerard waits and says nothing. Frank whimpers and begs again. Gerard laughs and kisses Frank's scorpion tattoo. 

"Who's the school boy now?" Gerard says, holding Frank tighter nod. 

"Me! I am! Fuck, I'm sorry. Just please, do it," Frank begs. 

Gerard slams into him with abandon and Frank is so overstimulated he comes almost immediately, screaming wordlessly. 

Gerard fucks him relentlessly, planting his hands on Frank's hips hard enough to bruise. Fucking Frank like this has always been a fantasy of his and it just happened to fall into his lap.

Frank comes again and clenches hard around Gerard's dick. 

"You were so good Frankie. Such a good boy," Gerard whispers, burying his face in Frank's neck as he comes. 

Gerard pulls out and lets Frank turn around. A thin trickle of blood rolls down his chin where he had somehow bitten his lip. Gerard wipes it away. 

Gerard cleans the cum off his dick and steps out to give Frank privacy to clean himself up. 

"Let me know when you're done, and we'll get food or something,"

Frank nods, breathing hard.   
\---

When Gerard returns wearing fresh clothes he finds Frank, sitting on a ledge in the shower, half asleep. 

Gerard shuts the water off and Frank snaps awake. 

"I just had the best idea. Shower naps," he says, rubbing his face. 

"Sounds like a great way to drown," Gerard rebuttals. 

Frank frowns, not finding a way to refute Gerard's logic. 

"In 100 years, everyone will be taking shower naps," he says. 

"Get out of the fucking shower, Frank." Gerard says. 

"Fine," Frank says, laughter in his voice. 

He gets out of the shower, dries off and dresses.

"I would love a nap," Frank says as they exit the bathroom. 

"How much sleep do you need?" Gerard asks incredulously. "You've been sleeping half the day!"

Frank shrugs. "I'm old."

Gerard feigns hurt. "If you're old, what does that make me?" He asks. 

Frank doesn't skip a beat. "An ancient motherfucker," he replies, grinning. 

"Careful, baby. Jersey doesn't forget," Gerard intones in a strong South New Jersey accent. 

"I'm surprised you can still do that, living here for so long," Frank retorts. 

"And I thought you would know not to jump in a pool in the dead of winter but here we are," Gerard shoots back. 

"This is not winter. This is a mild spring day," Frank argues. 

Gerard laughs and concedes, agreeing with Frank it's not a New England winter. 

They walk the short distance to the bedroom in contented silence. Frank flops down hard on the bed and rolls over his back before linking his hands behind his head. 

Gerard watches him, nostalgia filling his chest. 

"You really haven't changed much since 19, have you?" Gerard asks him, smiling faintly. 

Frank looks back at him, his face impassive. A pregnant pause fills the room with silence. 

Finally, he answers. 

"Well, I sure as fuck didn't get any taller if that's what you mean," Frank says, grinning. 

Gerard realizes it was a stupid thing to say. 

"Yeah," he says trailing off awkwardly. 

"Come here," Frank says after a moment. 

Seeing Frank splayed out across his bed makes Gerard uneasy about joining him despite it being his bed. The last thing he wants is to mess things up. 

Gerard lays down on the bed gingerly. 

"When was the last time you actually slept?" Frank asks him. 

"September 10th, 2001," Gerard answers poignantly. 

"Maybe it's time you did then," Frank responds. 

Gerard rolls over on his side to face Frank who does the same. 

"Maybe," Gerard says, swallowing hard, unsure. 

Frank reaches out his left hand and places it over Gerard's heart. 

"I'll stay if you need to sleep," he whispers. 

"Okay," Gerard answers, closing his eyes. 

\---

Gerard wakes to rain and a sleeping Frank's head on his chest. It's dark. The clock next to him says it's nearly midnight. 

He listens to the thunder. It never rains in LA. He wonders what it means and then wonders again if it actually means anything at all. He reaches out and touches the soft, short hair on the back of Frank's head. 

Frank stirs and opens his eyes, looking up at Gerard. 

"Did you sleep?" He asks. 

Gerard swallows, still stroking Frank's hair. 

"Yeah," 

"Good," Frank says, maneuvering his body so he's straddling Gerard. 

Frank kisses him with a purposeful force that leaves Gerard breathless. 

When the kiss breaks, Frank looks down at him, his eyes glittering in the dark. 

"I think you should suck me off," he whispers pointedly. 

"I agree," Gerard whispers back. 

Frank untangles himself from Gerard and lays down on his back, kicking off his clothing. 

Gerard lays between his legs and kisses his thighs before taking Frank into his mouth, swirling his tongue along the head before licking the length of him. 

After a moment Gerard incorporates his right hand. Frank is ready for him and Gerard slides his fingers inside Frank easily earning a moan from the younger man. 

They work like practiced lovers finding a rhythm. Gerard works his fingers in tandem with his mouth and tongue and he can tell Frank is close. 

Frank wraps his legs tightly around Gerard when he comes, riding out his orgasm. The only sounds are their heavy breathing and the rain. 

Gerard comes up to face level when it's over and kisses Frank who makes a grab for his crotch. 

Gerard lets Frank grab his clothed erection for a moment and stroke it to full hardness before shedding his clothes. 

Gerard lays back on the bed. Frank climbs slowly on top of him and then sits down slowly on Gerard's dick. 

Frank rocks gently back and forth, simulating his spot. He leans down to kiss the older man while increasing his speed. 

Gerard can feel Frank's inside clenching around him before Frank even tells him he's coming and feels his own orgasm building. 

The two men lock eyes as they come and ride out the waves of pleasure together. 

After a moment, Frank disentangles himself from Gerard and lays down beside him, breathing heavy. 

Gerard grins and lays his head on Frank's chest, sated.

Frank feels like home.


End file.
